My Chickens And I Talk Shit About You Pin-up T-Shirt
$29.99
★★★★★ Trusted by 2,600+ Homesteaders
30-day promise. Damaged or wrong size?
I’ll make it right. Pinky swear. 🐔
Let your shirt do the talking
🐔 Built For Barnyard Days
🐔 Gildan 64000 Softstyle: soft enough for the couch, tough enough for coop duty. 🌾 100% ring-spun cotton on solid colors, cotton/poly blend on heathers. 📏 Lightweight, side-seamed, true to size. 🇺🇸 Printed, packed, and shipped in the USA.
🧺 Easy Wash Guide
Your shirt has survived coop cleanouts, feed dust, and at least one hen who thought you were a perch. Here’s how to keep it looking good:
• Turn it inside out. Protects the print like a broody hen protects her clutch. • Cold water only. Hot water is for scalding birds, not your favorite tee. • Wash with similar colors. Mixed flocks are great. Mixed loads, not so much. • Gentle detergent, no bleach, no softener. Save the harsh stuff for the coop floor. • Low heat or air dry. High heat shrinks it faster than your patience with the neighbor’s rooster. • Iron inside out on low. Unless you want the design looking like it got pecked.
🚚 Shipping & Returns
Shipping
I know. You’re used to stuff showing up tomorrow. But there’s no giant warehouse here and no robots. Your shirt gets printed after you order it, by real people, one at a time. Like eggs, you can’t rush a good one.
Printing and packing takes 1 to 3 days. Once it ships, delivery is usually another 4 to 9 days.
Most orders land within 8 to 14 days. Just enough time for another round of chicken math.
Returns
30-day promise. Damaged or wrong size? Email me and I’ll make it right. No forms, no runaround.
Homesteader Favorites
Not Your Mama’s Farm Tee
Soft, easy to wear, and printed with the kind of farm humor that makes the right people laugh and the wrong people confused.
Comfort For Barnyard People
Made for chicken people, goat people, garden people, and anyone whose hobbies somehow turned into chores. Soft, easy to wear, and printed with the kind of humor that feels a little too accurate.
Need Help? I’m Around.
No ticket maze. No faceless support portal. Just me, probably checking my inbox again when I should be doing literally anything else.
Quick answers before you spend your adult money
What size should I order?
Our tees run true to size with a relaxed unisex fit. Check the size chart on each product page. Still unsure? Email us at tom@agritees.com. We're actual humans who respond.
How much is shipping?
Shipping is free for every order above $70
For orders of 1-2 tees, shipping is $4.95.
How long will my order take?
Every tee is printed fresh after you order.
Please allow up to 7 days for production, followed by approximately 2–5 business days for shipping.
You’ll receive a tracking email as soon as your order is on the way.
Will I get a tracking number?
Yes. As soon as your order ships, we’ll email you a tracking link so you can follow it all the way home.
Where are your shirts printed and shipped?
Agritees is a small family business.
Your tee is printed and shipped by our U.S. production partners in Florida and Texas.
What are your shirts made of?
Most of our tees are made from soft ring-spun cotton.
Exact fabric composition can vary by color and style, so you’ll find the specific material details on each product page.
How should I wash my tee?
Wash cold, inside out, with similar colors.
Use mild detergent and tumble dry low or hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed design.
Customer Reviews
Overall rating: 4.8 / 5 from 112 reviews.
I thought I ordered xl an a small came rechecked order it was a small nobody in my family has been a small since they were born lol. I ordered another xl hopefully it shows up xl I could not find a return link
Store owner replied:
Hi David,
I’m sorry the size wasn’t what you expected.
I checked the order as well, and the shirt was ordered in size Small, which is the size that was printed and shipped. I completely understand that mistakes happen when ordering online though, so I’m going to refund that shirt for you as a goodwill gesture.
I do have to admit that a 1-star review feels a little tough when the correct size from the order was actually delivered, especially since I’m always happy to help when someone reaches out.
I can also see your new order, and yes - that one is definitely XL, so XL is what will be printed and shipped. Hopefully this one is a much better fit.
Tom 🐔
Agritees
I love the shirt! Soft material, thick and good quality… I get compliments on it whenever I wear it.
It seems to be well made and who doesn’t like goats? I love the design. I have bought several goat t -shirts from this company and I’ve been very pleased with them all.🐐
Purchased multiple shirts. Wore the first one today, and was immediately asked about it when I went to vote (yay tiny dinosaurs!).
Shirts fit well, and feel good. Thanks, agritees!
Sassy chicken tender shirts for daily life with the girls! The print is high quality, the fabric is soft and thick cotton, my only complaint is that I wish that the shirt itself was tagless (tags give me "bug in my shirt" feels) Lastly, Tom is amazing for saving my tail feathers with an improper size when placing my order and emailed to make sure it was what I wanted (it wasn't, I needed a bigger size!) amazing company and hilarious shirts! <3
This was a great shirt with a clever message. I purchased it for my daughter who just happens to process her chickens this way and she loved it. I would definitely buy another shirt.
Very soft with accurate sizing! The print is nice and thick and color is true to image on the site. I love the humor! I do wish all shirts were 100% cotton as this one had some polyester, still an awesome shirt.
Store owner replied:
Ha! it’s funny because it’s true. 😉
I’ve seen some folks install motion-activated sprinklers near the porch to protect the territory a little… just saying.
So glad your wife loved the shirt, and thanks so much for the review!
And if you ever want to add a photo of the shirt, you’ll get a discount code for your next order automatically.
Tom 🐔
Agritees
