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False Chicken T-Shirt

False Chicken T-Shirt

Color: Dark Heather
Size: Please choose a size
Size Guide
$29.99

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Description

🐔 The Shirt That Gets You

Printed on a Gildan Softstyle 64000 tee - soft, lightweight, and easy to wear all day.

Perfect for chicken people, goat people, farm people, and anyone who has ever said “I don’t actually need to know how many chickens I have” and meant it with their whole chest.

It has a classic unisex fit, a smooth feel, and just enough attitude to make strangers either laugh or mind their business.

Not your mama’s shirt. Unless your mama is cool.
Washing Instructions

How to Not Ruin Your New Favorite Shirt:

• Wash inside out - protect the print like it’s the last egg in the coop.
• Use cold water - hot water is for people with too much confidence.
• Wash with similar colors, unless you enjoy textile drama.
• Use mild detergent. Nothing too aggressive. This shirt has feelings.
• Do not bleach. Seriously. Don’t be that person.
• Avoid fabric softeners - they can mess with the print and nobody asked for that.

Drying Instructions:

• Tumble dry low or hang dry.
• Avoid high heat - it can shrink the shirt and make the print sad.
• Remove promptly from the dryer to keep wrinkles under control.
• Do not dry clean. This is a shirt, not a tax problem.

Ironing Instructions:

• If needed, iron inside out on low heat.
• Do not iron directly on the print, unless your goal is chaos.

Basically: treat it decently, and it’ll stick around for plenty of chores, questionable decisions, and chicken math.
Shipping & Returns

Good Things Take Time - Especially When They’re Made Just for You

Free shipping on orders over $70, because spending money on shirts is way more fun than spending it on shipping.

Every shirt is printed to order, which means it gets made after you order it, packed up, and sent your way with tracking.

Orders usually ship within 7 days. Once your order ships, USPS typically delivers it within 2–5 business days.

After that, the carrier takes over. You can track it obsessively or pretend you’re chill about it - both are valid choices.

Returns & Exchanges

The 30-Day Happiness Guarantee

Buying a shirt online shouldn’t feel like placing a bet on chicken math.

If you’re not happy with your tee, email me within 30 days of delivery and I’ll do my best to make it right. Depending on what happened, that might mean a replacement, a different size, store credit, a partial refund, or a full refund.

Every shirt is printed especially for you, so I don’t run a traditional “send everything back to a giant warehouse” return system. In most approved cases, I won’t ask you to mail the original shirt back.

Before your shirt goes to print

Right after ordering, you’ll receive an email asking you to double-check:

- the design, color, and size;
- your shipping address;
- the measurements in the size chart.

Spot a mistake? Reply as quickly as possible. I’ll do my best to update your order, but changes aren’t guaranteed once it has entered production.

If something arrived wrong

If your shirt arrives damaged, defective, misprinted, or simply isn’t what you ordered, that’s on me.

Email tom@agritees.com with:

- your order number;
- a short description of the problem;
- a photo showing the issue.

I’ll get it sorted.

If the size or shirt just isn’t right

Picked the wrong size? The fit isn’t what you expected? Changed your mind once you saw it in person?

Email me within 30 days of delivery. Since each shirt is made to order, there isn’t one automatic solution for every situation, but I’ll look at what happened and find a fair way forward.

In short
- Contact me within 30 days of delivery,
- Damaged, defective, misprinted, or incorrect items will always be made right,
- Other issues are handled individually,

The solution may be a replacement, another size, store credit, a partial refund, or a full refund

In most approved cases, you can keep the original shirt
Order changes are only possible before production begins

I’m not a faceless corporation. I’m just a guy selling shirts to people who understand chicken math, goat chaos, and questionable life choices - and I’d genuinely rather help than leave you unhappy with your order.

More From The Coop

The Barnyard Crowd

(Looking pretty good for people with chores.)

Not Your Mama’s Farm Tee

Soft, easy to wear, and printed with the kind of farm humor that makes the right people laugh and the wrong people confused.

Comfort For Barnyard People

Made for chicken people, goat people, garden people, and anyone whose hobbies somehow turned into chores. Soft, easy to wear, and printed with the kind of humor that feels a little too accurate.

Need Help? I’m Around.

No ticket maze. No faceless support portal. Just me, probably checking my inbox again when I should be doing literally anything else.

FAQs

What size should I order?

Our tees run true to size with a relaxed unisex fit. Check the size chart on each product page. Still unsure? Email us at tom@agritees.com. We're actual humans who respond.
How much is shipping?

Shipping is free for every order above $70

For orders of 1-2 tees, shipping is $4.95.
How long will my order take?

Every tee is printed fresh after you order.

Please allow up to 7 days for production, followed by approximately 2–5 business days for shipping.

You’ll receive a tracking email as soon as your order is on the way.
Will I get a tracking number?

Yes. As soon as your order ships, we’ll email you a tracking link so you can follow it all the way home.
Where are your shirts printed and shipped?

Agritees is a small family business.

Your tee is printed and shipped by our U.S. production partners in Florida and Texas.
What are your shirts made of?

Most of our tees are made from soft ring-spun cotton.

Exact fabric composition can vary by color and style, so you’ll find the specific material details on each product page.
How should I wash my tee?

Wash cold, inside out, with similar colors.

Use mild detergent and tumble dry low or hang dry. Do not iron directly over the printed design.